Moving forward...whether I want to or not

It's hard when you find your place, your group of people and then suddenly it's gone and you have to start all over again. It's even harder when I think about the fact that once it's gone, it's never going to be the same. The people will change and some might even fade out of my life completely with time. After that all that's left is memories. Sometimes I wish things would just stay the same for more than what feels like a blink of an eye.

verse

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Ps 73:25-26

So many things to process through after moving back to the USA. Thankful for all the Lord is doing in my heart and seeking to be open to Him through all the changes.

It's been a long time coming...

Snippets from our Christmas in Peru

sharing time

"We love with our emotions. We love with our tongues. We love with slip-shod bodies, jittering feelings, and buzzing brains. We wield love like fire hoses, like axes. We love with poisonous arms and time bomb hearts. We love without mercy. We love without knowing how. We love, and love, and love and the whole world has paid a terrible price for our loving so fiercely."

http://tylerhuckabee.com/2011/12/06/we-love-with-poisonous-arms/

"As for me, I've chosen to follow a simple course; come clean. And wherever possible, live your life in a way that won't leave you tempted to lie. Failing that, I'd rather be disliked for who I truly am than loved for who I am not. So I tell my story. I write it down. I even publish it. Sometimes this is a humbling experience. Sometimes it's embarrassing. But I haul around no terrible secrets." - Joyce Maynard

what I needed...

Listen.
Believe that you are loved.
Believe that you are a prize.
A treasure.
Believe that you are worth fighting for.
Christ died for you while you were yet a sinner,
and because of that sacrifice, He has bestowed a worth on you, that you could have never
given yourself. Until another man sees you as worth sacrificing for, don’t give him an inch.
To love is to sacrifice.
To truly love is to give all.
And until there is a promise in place, to share all of your life with another,
I would argue, No real exchange of love can commence.

from:http://agirlikeme.com/2012/10/03/cool-your-jets-and-embrace-your-role/

Mhmmm

".. At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need. "

Shoot the dog

I'm burnt out. Shoot the dog. How did that even happen? I feel like I'm failing all my classes and while I am not failing them, getting Bs and Cs is unacceptable....at least Cs aren't acceptable. I feel like I'm falling apart. Seriously, I am so emotional allll the time. I just need to get through my one midterm tomorrow and then I'll have the weekend off. And I'm not going to think about all the homework and crazy shenanigans I have to do when I come back to. I'm just going to enjoy life and enjoy San Francisco.
Life is about the journey and not the end.

:::quote:::

stoled this off of Facebook: ‎"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it"

updated

Today::: feeling kinda hip ;) Usually i just feel dumb and nerdy so this is progress!
1. mom informed me of the meaning of YOLO
.............still feeling dumb!!
2. i downloaded instagram (spelling??)
..............a little better
3. i ate a whole little pineapple by myself
..............BAM

heart tugs

http://vimeo.com/24920819

I chatted with an old RA friend from Green Bay today. Surprisingly, our chat only made me happier not sadder about being an RA here. It's going to be a good year:)

Marching

Getting Ready!

 The Marching Begins

pictures from earlier this year....it's a big deal here....

outofcontrol

this morning little guy 1 (one of five) was having fits about his belt because i traded it with little guy 2 b/c his wouldn't even fit around his waist and little guy 1 is skinnier. Anyway little guy 1 is having fits for like 20min and finally after trying everything else i told him i could fix his belt magically....and it worked. He let me help him with his belt and get it to fit right....whatnext!!!

Pearls of Wisdom

"Mark out a straight path for your feet; then stick to the path and stay safe. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil" Proverbs 4: 26, 27

into da green

the necklace....yes with a heart...what can i say, i'm a romantic (well, usually, romantic/realist)...

Proverbs 22:14

The mouth of an immoral woman is a dangerous trap; those who make the LORD angry will fall into it.


....interesting stuff here.....interesting!

longing for love

I've been having a aching in my heart lately, like lead at the bottom of your lungs...I feel that when I read my Bible I go under spiritual attack or something....or maybe it's the the prolonged stress or pressure of the mornings and nights. Maybe just character growing pains. Forgiveness I need to give...bitterness I need to give up. I don't know. On my knees and looking to the Healer for help.

2am ponderings

I think the biggest lesson I've learned so far is that life is a struggle. Whether it's struggling to motivate yourself to read that last chapter before class or the struggle to keep going after you've been emotionally drained. It's been a rough day and a rough couple of weeks. I'm really glad that I have God on my side or I'd be sunk by now.
  One of my friends here was telling today how she doesn't become friends with someone because she needs them. If she's friends with someone, it's because she enjoys spending time with them; they add to her life. I thought that was an interesting perspective. Really the only person we completely and truly need a 100% of the time is Jesus. I've come to realize this more and more each day. He really is a fantastic friend/father/God.

in da face ;)