sharing time

"We love with our emotions. We love with our tongues. We love with slip-shod bodies, jittering feelings, and buzzing brains. We wield love like fire hoses, like axes. We love with poisonous arms and time bomb hearts. We love without mercy. We love without knowing how. We love, and love, and love and the whole world has paid a terrible price for our loving so fiercely."

http://tylerhuckabee.com/2011/12/06/we-love-with-poisonous-arms/

"As for me, I've chosen to follow a simple course; come clean. And wherever possible, live your life in a way that won't leave you tempted to lie. Failing that, I'd rather be disliked for who I truly am than loved for who I am not. So I tell my story. I write it down. I even publish it. Sometimes this is a humbling experience. Sometimes it's embarrassing. But I haul around no terrible secrets." - Joyce Maynard

what I needed...

Listen.
Believe that you are loved.
Believe that you are a prize.
A treasure.
Believe that you are worth fighting for.
Christ died for you while you were yet a sinner,
and because of that sacrifice, He has bestowed a worth on you, that you could have never
given yourself. Until another man sees you as worth sacrificing for, don’t give him an inch.
To love is to sacrifice.
To truly love is to give all.
And until there is a promise in place, to share all of your life with another,
I would argue, No real exchange of love can commence.

from:http://agirlikeme.com/2012/10/03/cool-your-jets-and-embrace-your-role/

Mhmmm

".. At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need. "

Shoot the dog

I'm burnt out. Shoot the dog. How did that even happen? I feel like I'm failing all my classes and while I am not failing them, getting Bs and Cs is unacceptable....at least Cs aren't acceptable. I feel like I'm falling apart. Seriously, I am so emotional allll the time. I just need to get through my one midterm tomorrow and then I'll have the weekend off. And I'm not going to think about all the homework and crazy shenanigans I have to do when I come back to. I'm just going to enjoy life and enjoy San Francisco.
Life is about the journey and not the end.

:::quote:::

stoled this off of Facebook: ‎"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it"

updated

Today::: feeling kinda hip ;) Usually i just feel dumb and nerdy so this is progress!
1. mom informed me of the meaning of YOLO
.............still feeling dumb!!
2. i downloaded instagram (spelling??)
..............a little better
3. i ate a whole little pineapple by myself
..............BAM

heart tugs

http://vimeo.com/24920819

I chatted with an old RA friend from Green Bay today. Surprisingly, our chat only made me happier not sadder about being an RA here. It's going to be a good year:)

Marching

Getting Ready!

 The Marching Begins

pictures from earlier this year....it's a big deal here....

outofcontrol

this morning little guy 1 (one of five) was having fits about his belt because i traded it with little guy 2 b/c his wouldn't even fit around his waist and little guy 1 is skinnier. Anyway little guy 1 is having fits for like 20min and finally after trying everything else i told him i could fix his belt magically....and it worked. He let me help him with his belt and get it to fit right....whatnext!!!

Pearls of Wisdom

"Mark out a straight path for your feet; then stick to the path and stay safe. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil" Proverbs 4: 26, 27

into da green

the necklace....yes with a heart...what can i say, i'm a romantic (well, usually, romantic/realist)...

Proverbs 22:14

The mouth of an immoral woman is a dangerous trap; those who make the LORD angry will fall into it.


....interesting stuff here.....interesting!

longing for love

I've been having a aching in my heart lately, like lead at the bottom of your lungs...I feel that when I read my Bible I go under spiritual attack or something....or maybe it's the the prolonged stress or pressure of the mornings and nights. Maybe just character growing pains. Forgiveness I need to give...bitterness I need to give up. I don't know. On my knees and looking to the Healer for help.

2am ponderings

I think the biggest lesson I've learned so far is that life is a struggle. Whether it's struggling to motivate yourself to read that last chapter before class or the struggle to keep going after you've been emotionally drained. It's been a rough day and a rough couple of weeks. I'm really glad that I have God on my side or I'd be sunk by now.
  One of my friends here was telling today how she doesn't become friends with someone because she needs them. If she's friends with someone, it's because she enjoys spending time with them; they add to her life. I thought that was an interesting perspective. Really the only person we completely and truly need a 100% of the time is Jesus. I've come to realize this more and more each day. He really is a fantastic friend/father/God.

in da face ;)

THANK YOU TOMS

now that the kids all have a pair....i need (yes, need ;) some too....

From Albert Einstein:

"Out of clutter, find simplicity

From discord, find harmony

In the middle of difficulty

     lies opportunity."

for you JenelleJoyHunnyBunny

http://supermarkethq.com/product/portable-solar-lamp-owl

MiMee's New Pet.....Whatnext?!?

~magic markers~

tattoo Idea #1::

Romans 13

So tonight was a super easy and good night! so much better than last night : D I'm so thankful! Also some verses I found while reading the directer her devos (she got her eyes fixed in Lima the other day{well hopefully they are fixed, it is Peru... ..})

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

(Romans 13:11-14 ESV)

Love is the fulfilling of the Law~that just hit me in a new way. So powerful and yet so simple. Also the part about "waking up".  I kind of like this version of the end part:

¹¹ This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. ¹² The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living. ¹³ Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy.¹⁴ Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.

promoting GSSW and my Brothers ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFFpuDs2We0&feature=youtu.be

Love you guys!
PS~readers, just click and watch, some eclectic, clean, hick comedy to lighten your day. SO WORTH IT :D

this morning

It's Thursday and somebody decided to move the boys house into a new apartment that is being finished to make more room for the girls: Yay for new houses and scrambling ;)

12am~up with baby
1am~Honders is crying because he has a really bad cough but I already gave him medicine so I can't give more, so I get him to drink water (finally after he realizes it's helpful)
3am~up with baby
5:30~up with baby
~~get the boys up
5:40~get school uniforms off of the line
~~Ironing uniforms
~~baby is wailing~older boy refuses to help get baby for me~ reprimand and 2 points
~~get baby back down to sleep
~~go into the old house to make breakfast because we don't have gas in our new apartment
5:45~remind the older boys what their morning chores are:: missing the chore chart (yes in the other house)
~~one of the sinks is leaking
~~little D doesn't have clean undies:: issue
~~two of the toilets aren't working

6:10~finally finished ironing

~~go into other house to bring the breakfast to new house
~~come back baby is wailing, again.
~~get baby, serve breakfast
~~kids at the table for avena (watery, sweat oatmeal):: baby in arms
6:20~Honders starts yelling my name:: he's up early
~~check rooms:: make corrections to get the jobs done right
6:40~finally the bread comes (daily part of breakfast)
7~everyone finished with breakfast
~~double checking uniforms
~~LISTOS :D

and that was pretty much how it went ;)

Devotional

"When we do not have joy in our lives, it is because we have left something out of the formula. We have not remembered the wealth of Jesus' love {for us}; or we have not loved other as extravagantly as He has loved us.

We think that to have joy, something must happen to change our circumstances. Or something must heal our past wounds. So we focus on the circumstances, the wounds, or some other source of discontent. All the while, Jesus asks us...to major on love. The circumstances, the wounds, and all other sources of discontent will soon be changed or become irrelevant. Joy will over come them. And our joy will be complete."

~At His Feet~August 15th

Joy is the experience of knowing you are unconditionally loved~Henri Nouwen

before all the changes

So exciting to see where we came from and where we are going~~such an adventure :D

deals and steals (not the thugging type)

Got these for all of like 40 cents....just had to share...you know me! ;)

Confession

So during RA training, on our taff has 15 minute life stories. Where each person tells their life story. They are able to share whatever they want without interruption. Everyone so far has shared something(s) very personal in their life. It was my turn tonight and I just couldn't do it. I actually have have told 3 people on my staff some of my story involving my Dad and how that's affected my life. But for some reason I just held back and couldn't share it. I don't know if it was because it was in a large group so I didn't feel comfortable or if there was just certain people in the room that I wasn't comfortable with knowing. The problem with being a private,reserved person is that it's hard to share personal stuff even when it is in a safe environment.
Now I wish I had just because it really does explain why I am the way that I am. Which is kinda cool and weird at the same time. My friend De said that she could tell that I was holding back cuz I stopped myself a couple of times from sharing. I kept it fluffy.
Do you do that? Just keep yourself from sharing things in your past ?

Wowza

So I was reading in my devotional tonight about doubting Thomas and it brought up an interesting point. Jesus didn't scold Thomas for doubting, instead he showed him the evidence he asked for. We often portray Thomas as the doubter and what we shouldn't be as a christian. But yet, the devotional went on to say that churches in India trace their start from Thomas. God doesn't scold us for doubting. He wants us to trust him. He is an understanding God. He doesn't take away the plans he has for us because we have doubts. The bottom line is like Thomas, when we see the evidence of God, we need to realize it and stop doubting. It like so many other things, is a chance to grow in our faith.

Luz ("Can I call you Lucy??") and I found you some shells the other day at the beach; but I'm pretty sure the mail would do a number on them. So I know it's not the same but at least here is a picture ;) Feel loved~you are!!! JS

Night Life

Soooo.....something just went scratching, screeching, and careening over my roof as baby and I were enjoying the "quiet" night of firecrackers and dogs having fits....I imagine it was one of your owls on it's way to claw somebody's eyes out~~~GASP. Ummm this is what I imagined 1/2 ways as I heard it all happen from underneath my fiberglass, rippled, held up by metal rebar, roof:

I think people are willing to share their life story, even the deeper parts as long as we let them and show that we care.

IDK

I am so tired. I feel like they are trying to kill us by overwhelming us with pointless things and lack of sleep. I go to sleep, wake up and feel like I haven't slept at all.
Despite how frustrated and tired I am, deep down I know that this is still the place I am meant to be. It's weird how I can be so distraught over things but within the feelings of distraught I feel at peace. Which is obviously God.
I didn't get into French 101 like I wanted so I am taking Spanish this semester still. But yet I feel like that has to be God's plan because other it would have worked out.
The biggest thing I've relearned is everyone has some kind of struggle or is struggle. Even if someone's struggle doesn't seem "that bad" compared to others; it doesn't matter. Because that struggle has defined who they are.
Man. Life has gotten real here.
I just have a lot of thoughts going on that I feel like it would take hours of talking to get it all out. I just want to sit down and talk to someone about it but I don't really have any one here yet that I can do that with because I've only known them less then a week. That being said...
I'm really curious as to what God has planned for me this year.

Dinner-dinner-Ding-ding

My delicious dinner (cough cough) BUT totally thankful there are people with nothing--I have not forgotten

Teal polish and the crazies

Got the nails done in Tru!! Yay for some girly stuff and a few days away (I miss the kids and baby and I'm worried about him :( but just trying to take this time as the blessing it for sure is and just thank the Lord for it! Also....when I asked the lady to paint two of my mails a dif color she called me "loca" when she thought I wasn't listening and I was like "Yes, yes I've been called crazy more than once" somebody has got to shake it up ;) ooohhhhh jeah

Dirty Details

So  basically my schedule now cuz it's RA training until 20th when the freshman start moving in, is basically doing RA stuff. Have meetings to learn the job etc starting at 9 until 5ish. And then we have area time which for me is with my staff in my building, -- there are 15 RAs in my building. We have the biggest building, 9 floors. Area time is ice breakers, expectations for our floor, stuff like that.
   It's nice because I'm considered a returner RA rather the a new RA. So I got the larger room as a returner. But it also means I have to mentor two other new RAs and teach a section during training... I hate talking in large groups of people. Shoot the dog. So that should be interesting. Plus some of the mentoring stuff is showing people the ropes of how to do rounds and other stuff which the same concept of what I did at Green Bay only they have a different system which I don't know so I can't teach it to someone else.
  Also I'll probably have to sit in all the new RA session which will get dry at some points because I'll know some of it like how to build a community etc but I guess a refresher is always good.
 Anyway. All the people I have met so far have been super nice, friendly, and helpful. One of the RAs on the floor below me I feel like we'll become good friends. When she found out that I was a junior, she asked when I was turning 21. I said february and she's like I'm turning 21 in march! We can go out together! and I was like yessss. haha. Then we both had a chuckle. Then she asked me if I hiked and I was like kinda if it isn't a bad hike. Then she talked about a 6 hour hike she went on with a friend here... I went blink. blink. Every time I go on a hike, I end up kicking myself for doing so. It's just not my thing. Also I refuse to pee on a bush. I want a bathroom thank you very much.
  On the more serious side, my building is apparently known to be the party building on campus. Sooo I guess I'm going to get really good at writing incident reports. I'm really exited about being an RA here though because I'm working which freshman which is easier and harder. But I'm looking forward to it. My floor is L shaped so I feel like we are all closer and we'll get to know each other better. I really want to get to know my residents this year and actually build relationships with them. My coRA, the RA who is on the otherside of my floor is a new RA. She's like I'll come to you for RA stuff and you can come to me about Chico stuff. I'm like perfecttt.
  Tomorrow we are apparently going to a little camp for a few hours and doing outside bonding stuff... wohoo? Anyway I need to go to bed. So that's my life

Sidebar: who is all reading this blog beside you (Mandy)?

mornings!

ps

baby farted up a storm before falling asleep so....here's to hoping we will have a peaceful night ;)

Survived

I freakin love it here! I need some solid cheese cuz I am so freakin excited!
I love the people.
I love the town.
I love the school.
Let's start the transfer papers now! Bam!
Sidebar: I need to buy a lamp cuz it is super dark in my room. I only get one tiny lamp that's on on side of my room; not on the ceiling...

guessing games

Guess who said this: "you have a heart of gold but I just can't talk to you..." cough cough cough

...for you and snuggles...

ALSO~remember that one time when you visited me in Peru and the boys in the house were looking up pickup lines and Nelman was writing them down feverishly in his notebook.....whattagongshow... ;)

~some good stuff from my book~

" 'to love and to cherish' is more than a phrase from your wedding vows. It is one of the most important needs your wifed will ever have."

"a wife's most basic needs in marriage are: 1) to be cherished, 2) to be know, and 3) to be respected."
                             ...from the book Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts


~hmmm definitely stuff/neediness I felt in relationships but never had the words for~at least I wasn't totally crazy ;)

a little of the happies

I love you and am proud of you! AH yes so many new things in life when you are adventuring. So I saw that you commented on my post and I was like "who in the world is ranting raven" and got a little weirded out because I didn't know who you were. ;) I hope this picture makes you chuckle and also I wanted to tell you that you can update the blog from you iPod~there's an app. I think you sent me this verse but it's a good one!

Isa 58:11

"And the LORD will continually guide you, And satisfy your desire in scorched places, And give strength to your bones; And you will be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.

Packing up and moving to Cali

So I'm suppposed to be up in five hours so that we can leave by 6am on our road trip to Cali. At this point I'm scared out of my mind because I am not sure what to expect when I get there. There is so many things I don't know and so many things I'll have to relearn because the campus will be different.
I'm excited that I'll be away from my family after a few days because I love them to pieces but they drive me crazy after awhile. But yet I am on the brink of tears at the thought of leaving them because I won't see them until who knows when.
Funny how you can be excited for something but dread it at the same time. With that being said, let the adventure begin!

Super Quick Confession:
I think I left my coffee pot on for like two days.....whatintheworld.

Our sad faces from when you left me to go back to America ;) Okay okay I know you are supposed to be there (liven the dream in Cali) but I miss you tons and buckets. I think this wild blogging will help me though!